Pathways
by goddessa39
Summary: Multiple AZ drabbles in the world of Supernatural throughout cannon, AUs, ARs, etc. Includes SamJess, SamDean, JohnMary and and the next generation... But mostly SamJess. :


**Pathways**

_Supernatural_ is not mine.

**M** for **M**ature just in case.

**Characters: **John, Dean, Sam, Mary, Jessica, Dean-Sam, Sam/Jessica, OCs, etc…

The world is filled with possibilities even if one world only travels one path. Mostly around Sam and Jess.

* * *

**Age**

When people looked at Sam they thought he was young. Sam was always more bubbly and brighter than his brother. When they looked at Dean he was dark and held the world on his shoulders. If one were to compare them, however, Sam's eyes were ninety years old because he held Dean on his shoulders. Sam felt ninety, withered, and dead inside when he held Dean in his hands.

**Ares High **_(Xena)_

Sometimes when it's quiet Jess looks at Sam and changes her mind. He isn't Zeus-he's Ares; the struggling warrior. He wakes up from nightmares he never mentions again and she fights with herself to confront him or not. The one time he does he mentions how his mother died in fire and his father was controlling. And even when his brother was there Dean didn't always understand. Sam fights to be different and sometimes Jess sees herself as Xena.

**Bragging**

He has never been one for bragging of women-never been one to sleep with one regularly for nothing. That's Dean's thing and he respects him but cannot see the point in it really. Doesn't Dean need the feel of love and a woman who will understand?

And then Dean is standing in his home-Jess looking him up and down and then smirking because Sam knew who he was talking about. And Sam is proud as Dean holds down his blush. Standing there with a smug grin on his face, Sam doesn't mean to brag but does anyway.

**Band-Aid**

John Winchester comes home with his nine-year old son and his youngest comes bouncing out with a worried frown on his face, and slaps a band-aid one finds cheap on a skinned knee to make it better. Neither boy notices how the sticky fixture covers nothing as Sam has made the wound better, the battle worth it.

**Caliginosity i.e. darkness **

When Candice Rockwell was a little girl her mother used to make her read out of the dictionary when she got detention at school. Maybe it had something to do with so many days spent in the classroom after school and maybe it had something to do with her Mom being and English teacher, but Candice never had a love for the English language like her mother and sister Vanessa did.

When she left for college she'd taken her biggest dictionary anyways as a sort of home-object to soothe homesickness. Her first day of College had been just like high school in a lot of ways. There were jocks and geeks and pretty girls in pink. She met Jessica Moore and was fast friends with her and sometimes she had to wonder how such a nice girl could be so… nice. She seemed light and bright-a shining soul. And even though Candice wasn't even a bit of a lesbian, she was attracted to the light.

Upon meeting Samuel Winchester, the darkness in him was captivating. She thought it was only right that the Light girl and the closet Dark boy would meet and fall in love and that the Light would be swallowed. Even after though, the Dark was never the same without the Light. And Candice was in love with Sam Winchester.

**Cents**

In the wake of their father's departure, Dean learns to rub pennies together and work odd jobs to support Sammy's life. Dean doesn't like to think of Sammy as poor or corrupted by those who don't know the truth. He learns the skills for odd jobs and fading into a crowd. Sammy learns how things look different and molded when they come from high money.

**Consultation**

"I don't understand," he says into the phone. His voice is straight yet confused and John listens from the far bed as Dean talks. There's more words. "What?" and then its followed by "How come?" The phone slams down from the other side and Dean stares perplexed at the cell in his hands as if it is about to eat him.

"What is it?" John says apprehensively.

Dean looks up and then his eyes clear slightly. "You got a spare tux?" he asks and then says nothing more to his father. But he's already planning on how to mess up some of the wedding gifts.

**Contrast**

It's 4am and Jess is startled awake by voices. They're not loud but the fact that her fiancé is not asleep, cocooning her, as he had been for a while now. In her sleep-addled mind, there were no thoughts about how her fiancé could be fighting with someone as he was a class-A person, one of those men who everyone knew would go far without even really trying.

But talking to whoever he was with slowly wakens her as her carefree fiancé sounds different, sad and angry and depressed all at the same time. Still, there is love hidden there and he recognizes the name of his brother, and Jess knows they'll be okay. They just have to make it over this next hurdle.

**Dance**

When Jessica Lee Moore was a little girl she wanted to be a ballerina. When she got a little older she pushed that aside but still enjoyed the Christmas nights when Grandpa would stand up with her and she would put her feet on his and dance. She'd noticed Samuel Winchester first for his height-because she was pretty tall as well, but second for his grace. She took him out for dance lessons two months in their relationship and the first time he'd tangoed with her he had placed a black rose with red tips into her mouth. Jess knew he was perfect for her despite his shady past and secrets. He'd swept her off her feet.

**Déjà vu Run**

No, is what he thinks as he runs up the stairs. The quenching inside of his gut is familiar and brings back a whole lot of bad Déjà vu he associates with hunting and the Winchester boys. But this is on a whole other scale something immediate and he feels something inside of him pluck off from the world-a loss of normality in this run to the room, their bedroom. "Jess!" he screams as he bursts the door open. And then they both are consumed by the gasping flames as if the Hunt has burnt them both.

**Dreams**

At night when he's all alone, John Winchester hears the old memories swarm around him of a life once lived with a dead woman and two sons with bright futures. There is little for his sons who have grown up in his twisted vision. He does not dream of his prodigals now, but of the shadows of them among the woman he loved.

At night when he doesn't remember his dreams, Dean Winchester dreams of Sammy and women, and then some things that don't really matter. He remembers how Sam has depended on him and how he has always done the best he could to make sure they have enough money when their father forgets them.

Sam dreams of The One, the girl who melted him and then melted into him; the girl who burned for him and then in front of him. Sam dreams of fire and brimstone; of things that he needs to stop. But the nightmares that haunt him are the times he used to daydream when Jess would kiss him on the cheek before hurrying off to class, or how she touched him-he touched her. He awoke from her sweet hands and the smell of her breath. And then he screamed as he feels the pain in her heart and inside of her when the flames burn her away.

Jess is dead now so she doesn't dream. But if she did it would be of the life she had wanted with Sam, the life he had been looking forward to giving her before John Winchester went missing.

**Eggs**

Sam cannot remember believing in God. His brother certainly doesn't mention that being in his presence. But even then, he will lay out Jess's bible on the counter for when she gets out of the bathroom and realizes that she is late for Easter Sunday-one of the few days she has time to attend church.

**Exception**

He can't wait to join Jess in heaven but he dies half a year after she does and can still hear his brother screaming at him to come back. She smiles at him from the light and understands. He can make an exception just this once. She kisses him and he walks back into the dark to his brother. Dean needs him for a little longer. Six years and four deaths later, Sam can still taste her waiting on his lips.

**Fairy Tales**

He has never had the luxury of believing in Happily-Ever-Afters. Even his older brother had once-upon-a-time memories when the world was half past perfect and on the way to the Great Beyond of the Sunset. Jess loves watching Disney movies and she insists on seeing one every night until they've watched them all when she learns he has never seen a one. Sam likes to think that his life is one of those Once-Upon-a-Times and that maybe she can give him a Happily-Ever-After. If it even exists…

**Far Up**

Dean hates flying and Sammy doesn't understand why. He thinks Dean would want to get closer to Mom up in heaven. Dean doesn't have the heart to tell him that "I'd rather be the master of my own death, thank you."

**Fire**

The fire claims all that touches it. That's why Dean likes one-night stands with women who don't' expect men to stay around. He is long claimed and only has one thing left. Sam loses his virginity to a woman he loves and in return is claimed by the fire that takes her. Sam hunts down his brother and joins him. They fight next to each other with abandon save for enemies against the other. Now that Sammy is home, they search for their father. Fire burns in their veins, fire from their mother and a lover and fire from their single heart.

**Firefighter**

When Dean's kindergarten teacher, the third one he'd had in one year, asked him what he wanted to do in life, Dean got real quiet because he didn't know what he would say. If he were to ask Dad, there would be a grunt and then the single word o "Hunter" because Dad was on the path of vengeance and expected everyone to be on the train with him. The teacher was a little curious but said nothing and moved on. When class was over and all the other children were gone, Dean walked up to her desk and laid his project on her desk to grade. It was a read firefighter had because he'd always wanted to fight back the first.

Twenty years later and he runs into his brother's house to find his might-have-been-sister-in-law on the ceiling like their mother had been years before. He's sad but he does what he has to and gets Sammy out of there-his little brother thrown over his shoulder. Vengeance doesn't take Sammy like it did Dad, but the fire consumes him-brings out a deep hidden well of pain and secrets. Dean cannot abide by this and sticks by his brother fighting the fire. When Dean was really little he didn't want to be a hunter like his Dad, he wanted to be a firefighter because he had to protect his brother.

**Furnished**

Sam asks Jess if she wants to move in with him when they're relationship is six months old. Their friends think its too soon and question what she really knows about him but she rolls her eyes and ignores them because Sam's eyes make her weak at the knees and she knows just where on his arm to kiss him to make him totally dependant on her ministrations. They go house hunting and the three that they find end up all having fireplaces. She's psyched but Sam turns them down when he learns of the brickwork.

Eventually they find a dark brick four-bedroom, two-bathroom two-story near the campus since they're both in their first year and settle in. Jess thinks she misses the idea of a fireplace until Sam pulls her under the covers in winter and warms her a better way. _Actually_, Jess decides afterwards, _this was a better idea because we get to put in all the knew things ourselves._

**Genetics**

Over the Californian coast, Sam remembers Dean looking cool and collected after a raid and some demon fighting before he'd gone off to school and normality. It was Dean's baby and his companion when Sam wasn't around anymore. Years later, Sam's ghost watches his children ride off into battle in the same blue impala. He bows his head and wishes it wouldn't happen but Dean Samuel, Samantha, and Jessie follow in their Uncle's footsteps. _At least, _Sam thinks_, they don't follow in Mother's or Jessica's._

**Good Morning**

Seven am the Winchester boys wake up and slowly make their way down the stairs of the newest rental home they've borrowed from a friend. The white picket fence isn't always there but the houses have a sense of normality that isn't always there. Grunts from the first floor follow through the house and Dean is up and mumbling. Sam isn't a morning person either but he wakes up quicker. He knows his brother is already asleep. "Dean, can I have a dollar?" and his big brother is already making his way to his secret stash before he can stop himself. Sam knows where it is now.

Dean, still asleep, follows his little brother downstairs. Sam rubs his eyes but climbs onto the stool to watch his father falter with the kitchen appliances. When nine-year-old Dean gets downstairs the brunette boy falls asleep into his bowl, the ceramic glass slightly vibrating with the sleepy moans.

Sam smiles as he helps his father free his robe sleeve from the toaster and petulantly sits the infuriated man down. Pulling out the two steps nearby, he cracks six eggs into the pan on the stove and makes breakfast. He slides off the peppered food into a bowl and puts the dishes into the sink. He turns and already knows how he will find them.

Dean is still snoring into his cool empty white bowl. Dad is dazing against the countertop and hardly sees him. And Sam is smiling because he saved Dad from the toaster, he knows where Dean's little cash stash is, and Breakfast is ready. "Good morning," he says and Dad jerks up but mumbles as he keeps himself from nodding off. Dean doesn't notice.

Sam eats and he is smirking. When he finishes he cleans his bowl and runs upstairs to grab the shower first. He wont t take all of the hot water but Dean and Dad don't know that.

**Grin**

Sam remembered her Grin when he dreamt, her grin that reeked of schemes… in a good way. Anticipation that he always said was Trepidation came from her wild ideas that matched her wildly straight hair and the cloud of excitement that smoked around her when she got in the mood to 'just live'; screw homework and responsibility. But these were just dreams now and when he wakes to the sound of Dean's random Rock channels turned to Britney Spears of all people, he knows all he has left are his duties. He is in his brother's shoes.

**Gun**

Such a small, small thing. Metal and barrel-lock the safety or it'll go off. It's a blue color and it pops out in his eye cause his hands are all red and scratched up. The trigger jiggles and he steadies the grip. Then he looks it in the eye as it comes running at him with murder on its mind, and he puts a bullet through its forehead.

Its so small. It's a piece of metal and then a few mechanisms but it kills what was after him. He looks down at the metal object and tells himself that people don't kill other people; guns do. And he knows it's a lie because its so small…

**Heat**

The flames burst open in around her only after she is held against the wall with a force that knocks the air from her lungs at first. Then the force hits her hard against the ceiling with a bang that alerts the man they love. As he rushes towards her, she can only open her eyes wide and wishes _that Please no, Please don't let it get him too, though she has no idea what it is that will kill her_. It starts at her toes and fingers and then her skull feels like it's on fire before she sees the flames bursting outwards. She screams because the little mouths-thousand of thousands of them-are biting her skin and turning the pigment into blackened husks. Dust and ash stream downwards onto the memories below her, and the man she loves bursts into the room.

_I love you_, she thinks, wishes he could hear, _and I'm sorry you saw this_. And as the woman dies all the heat sinks from him and he is dead where his passion used to lay. Now all that's left is determination to take revenge.

**Helping Hand**

Dean always knew his Sammy was brilliant but he got worried when the kid didn't ever say a word. He's three and walking fine-running out to get the paper and reading the words as if he's eating up sugar. Dean starts when his kid brother runs out with a bottle of salt.

He's too late though. Sammy looks up at him and then opens up. "Dean. We have a problem." And it's the first words he's ever said. But Dean looks up like he's supposed to and his eyes widen at the yellow-eyed freak standing over them in the hole of salt and he knows what to do. He pulls the trigger and hugs Sammy close afterwards.

Dean wants to know why he hasn't said anything else but is just glad he asked for help when he needed it.

**Impala**

Dean had always been John Winchester's fighter so that the younger son would be safe. It was unspoken but obvious for both of them. And then John took off when Dean was thought old enough to be a man. For Sam, freedom meant school, normality, and Jessica. For Dean, freedom was the open air in his blue impala and the air rushing by. When Jess was taken from him, Dean shared the car and the path with him as they hunted together, _But_, Dean knew, _Sam is gone with dad in the path of blackness for vengeance_.

**Investigation **

_Case File: X09466273-via '_ _Winchester__' _

_Officer: Agent D. R. Daemon _

_Code: 'Yellow Eye' _

_Subject: John Gregory Winchester, Dean Jonathan Winchester, Samuel Lawson __Winchester_

_Victims: Mary Allison Winchester (deceased 1981), Jessica Lee Moore (deceased 2005), etc… _

Upon opening the case file marked in the yellow box one would find nothing but a bunch of old photos a files that seemed to chip away at the edges-modern technology be damned. Looking through them one might be shocked at white lies in the files-evidence and circumstantial proof around a number of illegal activities.

_It is the belief of the court that despite a number of illegal activities surrounding the still-living Winchester men, that the deaths of John Winchester's wife-the mother of both Dean and Samuel, Mary Allison Winchester, and the fiancé of Samuel Winchester, Jessica Lee Moore, that the deaths although horrible and showing signs of malicious intent, had no ill will or prior planning…_ and the decision went on describing how the two brothers would go free along with the body of their father.

Mary Jessica Winchester knew that her father and her Uncle had burnt the body as soon as they had gotten back to Lawrence in order to bury their father next to their mother. Her blonde hair and blue eyes shown intently as she identified and switched out the photos and skipped out of the department of law enforcement in Washington.

Having followed her Uncle's footsteps through college and into Law, she'd been able to maneuver her way around. If anyone came back looking for a case. There would be nothing conflicting.

**Jersey**

Sam grew up on the road and though he didn't hate it, there were parts to his life he certainly loathed. They not lived anywhere for more than two months since the three week stay with an old friend of their mother's. Dean always knew Sammy was smarter than he was and he never felt bad about it. What Dean hated was the instability. They were lucky to pass elementary school and Dean was secretly proud about his high school diploma stuffed in the compartment. When they got through all fifty states by the time the youngest son was fourteen, he bought Dean a Jersey of their home state.

**Karat**

Jess stares at the ring in shock. They've been dating two years nearly and though she heard he'd been spotted near both _Zales_ and _Jared_ she passed it off as just rumors. She has an eye for diamonds and mystic Topaz but these are splendid. She gets lost in the natural fragments that make up the karat quantities and almost forgets to scream "Yes!" before tackling him in a kiss in the middle of the restaurant.

**Lesion**

There isn't much left of the body. It's definitely female and he can tell she had been hurt before that flames engulfed her. There is a large cut across her abdomen and some remains of what was once blood. The flames have killed her and the young man in shock insists that she was on the ceiling. He doesn't fail to notice the diamond ring on her finger though or the blood on his forehead and he wonders…

**Llama**

Dean had no idea whose stupid idea it was to go to a petting zoo, but he was quickly filled with the certainty that it was Sammy's as the younger Winchester was on the ground practically dying of laughter at the huge glob of animal spit on his face. Dean wiped away the saliva and walked back to the car. He'd always preferred demons over animals any day.

**Looking Up**

Dean's music is up, but it's not loud enough to mask the sounds of Sam's fingers typing heatedly on the laptop placed on his legs. The younger Winchester in the passenger seat is oblivious to everything around him but the keys under his fingers as he looks up their next problem.

But Dean hasn't not noticed the pictures of Jess on his laptop desktop but turns his head to ignore the signs. Maybe things would get better. If Sam kept busy enough he could forget the blonde that died on the ceiling above his head.

Unnoticed by him, Sam's fingers typed quickly and Jess's face was part of the arrow button. He was doing it for her. Nothing else to do but that.

**Marks**

When they met Sam found out his type was blonde and green-eyed, like his mother had been. When they made out he'd leave hickeys on her to show the world she was his. She would leave them in the more unseen places to show him where he belonged and he couldn't help but thing that they weren't necessary. He'd fallen for her early on in their relationship. On a whim in the middle of a date, Jess points out a tattoo parlor. She gets SJW in a heart with devil horns on her inner thigh and he can't help but glare at the artist for looking at her. He gets JLM in a heart with angel wings on his hip bone so that it matches her own. Dean never noticed but Sam had almost let himself be consumed by the fire. It had touched him when the demon had swallowed his girlfriend and it didn't even hurt until the hotel rooms were quiet except for Dean's snores. Looking at his hip there was a burn around the mark but nothing touching that tattoo. Like how he felt for her; nothing could change that. She was his. He was Her's. He couldn't even look at another woman without comparing them to her afterwards.

**Mental**

Mr. and Mrs. Winchester watch their son as tears roll down their eyes. Sam sits in white padded walls-a jacket that holds his arms still is handled and the boy is far away. "My baby boy-John, why is my baby boy _here_?!" But John can only pinch his lips and try not to tear up.

**II**-His son thinks he has a brother-a brother that doesn't exist and fights demons.

**III**-His son thinks that his brother is still alive.

**IV**- His son thinks that Jess is still alive.

**V**- His son thinks that his mother is dead

**VI**- His son thinks that his father his dead.

**VII**- His son thinks that his parents are dead.

**VIII**- His son thinks that there are things such as demons.

**IX to M**- His son can think a thousand things that aren't true.

John Winchester is afraid for the future. Especially since sometimes he thinks some of these things too.

**Momma**

Jess is shocked quiet when she finally coaxes the story of his mother from Sam and she can't help but mourn the woman neither of them got to meat before kissing him and curling up around his sobs.

She stares at the phone for a long time before she manages to pick it up. And then she slams it down and jumps away from it. Sam sits on the couch and watches her in half amusement but refuses to call his brother in the wedding.

She's twenty-four and staring down at Samantha Marianna Moore-Winchester and her brother Jesse Dean Moore-Winchester when she hears a gurgle. Sami looks up at her and mouths "Momma!" and Sammy pulls her into a hug from behind.

**Newborn**

Mary and John had never told Dean that he had been a twin and his brother died at birth. But Dean had not felt whole until he looked down at his left-handed baby brother and felt as if the other half of him was complete. The Doctors had been astounded at her second pregnancy because her first was so complicated and they'd thought she'd never get pregnant again. But Dean knew the truth-knew Sam was meant to be and that he'd only ever had one brother.

**Orbs**

John looks at his boys and loves them. But really, Sammy has become Dean's, and Dean was always Mary's darling. He can't even reclaim what is left from the fire because Sammy is Dean's meaning and Dean has Mary's eyes.

**Only One**

Dean's life starts when he was four and his mother told him he was going to have little brother or sister. He remembers fondly and with startling certainty that he was excited, and apprehensive. Dean's life ends when his mommy has to be rushed to the hospital and dies when the ambulance bursts into fire. Dean never got to see his baby brother.

**Outings**

Whenever Sam took Jessica out, it was bright out, the daylight going on for a while yet. He always tried to keep things happy and perfect, and until she died they were. But when the moon came up he changed. The dangers were obvious at night especially. And he looked like a hunter.

**Petals**

He'd asked her to marry him in mid-June when the flowers were bloomed and she'd taken him to the garden where her dog had knocked him over. Before the fire burns her away like it burned Mom, he'd smelt the earth of the ground they'd made love on and the seeds of rebirth they'd gotten in places they'd never imagined. In the ashes of Jessica's life, all he could smell were the petals burning, and the way he could hear screaming he'd never heard. He'd lain her down in the earth and scooped up her ashes into the earth. The plot smelled thick with the grave and he'd not laid her there. Instead he'd silted her into the earth of the garden they'd met. He'd come back years later, older and scarred and filled with haunts. Odd pink flowers had sown up where her ash had reached, and he thought, with great care, they were the color of her skin and her lips when she'd bit onto them.

**Premonitions**

Mary met John Winchester when she was sixteen and wearing pink. At eighteen and wearing blue she got pregnant. John owned up to the mistake and they had Dean. Four years later they were happy and had Sam. When her second son was born, however, she'd begun having nightmares of Sam rising up in flames and died half a year later in his place. Jessica met Sam in college. He was one year her senior and perfect. His secrets got old but she'd had her own too. On the night after their second date she'd had a nightmare and they'd never stopped. They'd been dating almost six months before she found out she was pregnant. The flames in her dreams had swallowed her up on the night of their six month anniversary and he'd never known. The other thing he'd never known was that the two women would never regret him.

**Quake**

The room shakes at two in the morning and Sam Winchester jumps up on reflex. Jess has crawled to the middle of the bed half asleep looking for something to hold her down. The blonde young man completely picks her up and he squats under the doorway where it is safer. The first quake stops after a few seconds but the aftershocks crack the streets.

It's almost six am and the only spot left in the whole building are the columns where the doorways stood and if anyone cared to look they could find Jess Moore and her boyfriend macking two stories up without a way to get down. In a healthy reevaluating of reasons period, Dean's little brother tells her about the supernatural and she doesn't really mind it too much-dying is inevitable and they would have been killed if not for those instincts.

**Question**

Jess has been dead for six months when Dean finds the little velvet box. Sam is totally asleep so Dean picks it up before he can stop himself and opens it up. Part of him wants to toss it as if it will stop Sam's pain. There is a large diamond in the middle and two smaller ones outside of it. He's not an expert but he's pawned off enough things. This must have cost a lot.

He squeezes the box and takes the ring out, angry with their circumstances. Light catches his eye shining off of the lamp and he squints to read the inscription cursively printed. "_Will you walk with me in the dark?"_ it says, followed by _"Jess & Sammy"_ with a heart on each side.

Dean swallows hard and hurriedly slips the ring back in and puts it back in its place before going outside to catch up with his mind. Dean remembers their father and he finally realizes how close he is to losing his baby brother. It's only a matter of time…

**Reaper**

Tessa is one of many reapers and it is logical to say she is not sane. But a chill arches up her spine as she runs from Mary Winchester after her third try to claim the spirit's sons. How can two be so strong in such despair?

**Reunion**

Dean has been alone for three years. He's almost twenty-two when his little brother shows up from nowhere with baggy dark circles under his eyes and blood-shot eyes. Sam says nothing but finishes off the demon with a more-than-equal ferocity of a pro. They walk quietly back to the car and Dean notices how Sam's stuff is already tucked away, the stations tuned to allow for Sam's favorites. They don't talk and Dean doesn't ask question. But he finds the picture of a beautiful blonde whom abstractly reminds him of his mother. Maybe it's the burned edges of the photo snapshot that makes the picture look like a last relic-of-old. Dean doesn't ask questions as he fights next to his brother with equal ferocity at the enemy. They join their father in vengeance; John fights for his wife, Mary's murder; Sam fights for Jessica's untimely death; but Dean fights for the murder of his brother, because all that is left is a mirror image of himself in Sammy's eyes.

**Sacrifice**

The truth was, It had controlled the fire in the beginning. It had gone after the youngest son, the one that would carry the oldest son screaming into the darkness. The Mother, Mary, how ironic, had walked in and taken it's place. And yet, the places switch as Dean and John walk in. John wants vengeance but Dean remembers as he tries not to carry Sammy down into the dark and under the bed with the monsters.

**Schedule**

Looking down at the small computer held in the palm of his hand, Sam smiles at the main picture of his smiling girlfriend. He takes the small stick and goes to his calendar to see what time Jessica will decide to finish her homework. As he disks the too-thin pointer though, he can't help but think of how Dean would use his bloodied finger for such a device… if he even had the spare money for one at all.

**Shock**

He's frozen. His mind feels dull and heavy as the events poor over him. His eyes close and then open. He can see Dean, feel his brother looking at him worriedly, but Sam can't help it. He doesn't care. His hands are numb and they shake as he places them on the table and look at them. The table is cool but it feels like nothing to him. The seat beneath him feels as if it has become part of him. Sam can feel the workers and others in the room with him move around. He can feel the doctors and nurses rush around. His friends are coming as well but Dean is the only one he really wants here.

The door across from him opens at a tortured crawl and his skin feels clammy. The white glinting off of everything hurts his eyes and he shuts them tightly. When he opens them the door is still opening and he shudders. Dean goes to his side and tries to say something but Sam's ear burn with his blood and all he hears is the loud underlying whine of nothing.

The doors open and he is introduced to two of the most important people in the world. SamnDean Mach II. The best one.

**Singled**

On their first date, Sam had brought her a daisy because it was the only flower in the shop near his apartment that would last more than a day. The truth was that it was the only one left of a dozen that had made it through a fight he'd had no intention of joining. She smiled and tucked it in her hair and smiled. Even though the discussion they'd had before deciding to try for a second date had been awkward and filled with pauses, Sam Winchester could not help but think that the cuts and bruises, not to mention the ghost, had been worth it. After all, the wounds were hidden.

**Stance**

It stood before him, twisted smile forming around that of some student he had never met. It's yellow eyes shone brightly like it had all those years ago above his cradle, strangling his mother. It stood like it had just moments earlier, murdering his fiancé and their unborn child he'd barely had a chance to savor. The demon had killed them. Sam would take his revenge.

He raised up his hand. He pulled the trigger. Sam Winchester looked the demon straight in it's yellow panicked eyes. He grinned into the abyss because he was a man and knew where he stood.

**Sugar and Salt**

Dean never failed to salt a window for Sammy once their dad had abandoned them for vengeance. But every time he went out to buy a few more canisters of it, he always brought something back for his brother to share inside the circle.

**Survivors**

He's never told Dean a couple of things, or his father for that matter. Sam wonders why because he has become closer to his brother in the last two years. A part of him can't help but think that it showed up on Dean's tail and that is why Jess is dead. He comes back into the latest motel they're bunking in to see that his brother is still asleep and is ever glad for it. He leaves again with his cell in hand and finds the familiar 'SD' in his memory. He makes a call.

Sam never told Dean that he finished law school in three out of five years and had been working for a year. Sam never told Dean that he'd married Jess in that third year and welcomed two daughters ten months later. Sam never told Dean that they weren't the only Sam-n-Dean in the family. Sam never told Dean that Jess had wanted to surprise him with another pregnancy and burnt to death on the ceiling how he remembered that Mary Winchester had. Sam never told Dean that the little bit of luck made sure that Samantha and Deanna were with their godmother when he came by and now. Sam never told Dean that he was and Uncle and a Godfather to both of them. Sam never told Dean that he called them three times a week and sent money just because he couldn't do nothing. Sam never told Dean a lot of things. And until the yellow-eyed demon was dead he didn't intend to because it hadn't known about the twins like Dean had led it to Jessica Lee Moore Winchester.

He makes a call. "Hey girlie! How do you like school?" They were fast learners too. Sam would not bring them in to this world. They had already survived one fire.

**Tall**

John had been thrown straight out of the house and smashed against the tree. Dean could have told him that the creaking sound hadn't been the tree but a handful of Dad's ribs cracking, but Dean had been smashed against the wall and was just as out cold. Sam ends his own innocence without meaning to. He takes up the gun like a horrible mantle and points it at the devil who had just tried to kill what little family he has left. The youngest Winchester does not flinch when he lifts the barrel and lets the bullets fly. Silence reigns until his brother and father wake up ten hours later wounded but in bed.

**Throng**

He stands at the end of the world and has a sort of moment of awe that he is actually and truly there. Dean stands beside him, his cheek bloodied from the demon they just stopped. Sam laughs at the incoming horde of demons and gets ready to fight.

**Try Again**

"Again." Dad commands Dean and the young boy does so without complaint. These drills are so far into him he does not need the actual words to hear them spoken by his father. He's heard them before. He amuses himself with his brother. "Again!" Sammy had commanded and Dean picked him up and swung him around into dizziness.

**UV **

Jessica tans her skin in the winter. She goes to those little parlors with some of her girl friends and they sit under the light with a cloth over their eyes and headphones on to pass the time. He can't help but think that UV lights are used to inhibit vampires and some other creatures, and that every time she does it she kills more skin cells than the sun if it was shining down on her.

She burns a mark on her waist and comes home bothered about it. She's never gotten hurt before but the little black mark taunts her and constantly itches. As if he has to check to make sure she is still his Jess, he bends down with something in his mouth and instead of capturing her mouth, a lathers his tongue on the mark and Jess is lost to the feeling he brings out in her. The mark feels like a different type of burn now.

She takes a shower soon after and rubs at the dark mark. Surprised, she rubs at it some more. I guess it was just a slight burn, she thinks as she turns off the water and admires the spot in the mirror. Any odd mark is dissipating fast and soon it'll just be a splotch of not-quite-tanned skin. Jessica doesn't know the facts about saliva like Sam has had to look up. Saliva prepped lovingly helps to heal. And the minor petting was a major turn-on.

And Jess is definitely not a vampire.

**Under**

Sam has always felt less than Dean in his father's eyes. He remembers his childhood spent listening to his father call "Get under cover!" and Dean's later replies of "Take Cover under…" something nearby. He leaves thinking he can be more than he is and worth more. Maybe if he is a lawyer his father will understand that there are other ways to fight-other ways where he does not have to be under John Winchester's orders.

But under Jess he doesn't mind much. (-_GRIN_-)

**Vernacular**

When she meets Sam the first time he sticks out like a sore thumb on a boogie board he knows cannot get him. She can't tell he's from Kansas. His words are native to just about everywhere in the US and she can't help but think that they don't grow them like him anywhere but Kansas. But sometimes he's clueless at pop culture so she takes him to a movie before their first date to get to know him without getting too pushy. He takes the hint, smiles rakishly, and asks her out. He kisses her on the mouth and hums something not in English that makes her giggle because it tickles her throat. When he leaves for the night she can swear she smells salt.

**Water, Air, Earth, and Fire**

When Jessica was four years old her older brother Todd drowned in the pool at seven. Her parents were heartbroken and always replied that it didn't make sense because Todd knew how to swim and loved it. Jess always assumed it was the monster in the closet come to take her brother away because her older sister Megan suffocated in her bedroom six weeks later. Two years later both her parents died in an avalanche near a road that was previously perfectly hard according to damage reports. When she's shipped off to her gypsy grandmother Jessica Moore learns a new side of life.

And flat on the ceiling with her belly slit and spilling the two-week beginnings of their baby, Jess Winchester thinks that now she understands why Sam had always feared of fire.

**Weapons of Choice**

Sometimes they did the odd jobs. There was a virus that mutated and they had to use a flame thrower to keep it back. They used guns a lot which was weird because according to half of the books out there, rules against modern weapons was a big factor.

But sometimes, Dean and his brother had to hold the oddest killing machines to defeat the enemy.

There was a harpoon one time in California. The odd thing was that it wasn't on the sea-it was on the road over a train station and the metal line uncut never lead to the bodies. Then there was the time where Sam pretended to be Hook for Halloween and found it handy when a dark pixie had tried to attack him. Dean laughed but Sam remembered Jess's costume that year and trailed off. Dean remembered the dictionary he'd tossed that had smashed a demons head open and when Sam rubbed at his neck, he had replied, "I always knew your smarts were good for something."

**Xena **_(Ares High)_

Jess grew up watching Xena: Warrior Princess. The kick-ass moves and hot Goddesses always appealed to her and the familiar myths attract her in yet another way to Sam. She thinks of herself as Aphrodite because she is blonde and cares about others. Then she shakes her head when she thinks of Sam as Zeus because of his long and powerful strides and his dominating presence.

**Yoyo**

The only time John and Dean had ever let Sammy see them using themselves as bait; Dean had taken out a 10 yoyo made of metal. When Dean went down Sam used the string to asphyxiate it and the blood never came off the string. Sam restrung it for him but Dean didn't take it out again unless Sam was safe at home and John never mentioned what Sam had said to him about it.

But every time Dean pulled it out John Winchester had to stop the flinch because he had turned his sons into monsters and completely endangered their lives at the same time. "I wonder if you even remember that we're your sons," Sam had said. The yoyo melts to the floor in the fire.

**Zoo**

Jess loves animals. Sam knows this but its more because of her reaction to loose cats than telling him. He picks her up on a Tuesday morning. The sun is up but there is enough fog in the summer that it isn't too warm. He kisses her in front of the monkeys. Sam holds Jess's hand in front of the flamingos. They walk arm-in-arm under the jungle canopy where the birds play to see who can be pooped on-Sam escapes, Jess notices. He pulls her close to him as if to shield her around the lioness that watches them-the familiar skill of another hunter visible to someone who looks for it. Jess remembers this because she says he is lithe in a way that other people are not. But sometimes she sees him in a situation and feels like she's watching a wild animal backed in a corner.

They sit in the food corner and watch some of the kids play and go by. Sam is out of place but comfortable also in the way that people who constantly change to fit the world are. Jess runs her hand through his hair in appreciation and kisses him deeply as they leave the date.

Jess loves animals-is fond of even the most dangerous kinds. Maybe then, that is one reason she had so noticed him in the first place. Sam Winchester is a wild animal looking to tame the world and Jessica Moore knows he can do it.

* * *

**End. **

Okay then. There will probably be more… eventually. Lots of Sam/Jess centered of course. I love that pairing.

Happy Birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. Happy B-Day to Me-e-e-eeeeeeee... Happy Birthday to me!!


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